PUBLIC LISTENING: DUNKIN’ DONUTS
ICED COFFEE AND ED SHEERAN
Like my guy Bob Lefsetz always says, music is no longer at the center of culture. It’s not shaping shit. But it’s still covering every inch of this demented planet. I love catching half of a pop song in a corporate chain. For most, that’s noise pollution. For me, hearing a bit of “Shut Up and Dance” by Walking On The Moon while I pick up a frozen pizza is actually somehow enjoyable.
Writing and recording music is amazing. You make a song and then you put it into the world and then it’s no longer in your control. If you’re lucky, in your absence, it starts to travel. And all songwriters should be lucky enough to have one of their recordings played out in public, wherever that may be.
I spent some of my Memorial Day morning sitting alone in a Dunkin’ Donuts, listening to music.
10:43: Ava Max “Kings & Queens”
The Dunkin’ was quiet. The neighborhood had cleared out. All the dads with the Online Ceramics shirts were gone in the Catskills. I ordered almost immediately, right as a guitar solo was hitting. Ava Max seems to be making the music Lady Gaga doesn’t feel like making anymore. I ordered a small iced coffee with one cream and one sugar and a chocolate French cruller.
I remember the early days of poptimism. Back then, it wasn’t about defending Disney or harassing haters; it was about making the argument that the formal innovations taking place in the Top 40 were as important as anything in underground music. For a brief period of time, you could anger an indie rocker simply by playing Beyonce in between bands at a show. But the whole premise went to shit. Pop radio turned into its own weird niche, and the term became a kind of shorthand for some of the more annoying cultural attitudes on the internet. Still, it would be hard to argue that Clap Your Hands Say Yeah have made a more lasting impact on music than Missy Elliot. I finished my cruller.
10:49: Ed Sheeran “Eyes Closed”
We once made an unfunny joke in the tour van that you could score an entire wedding with Ed Sheeran songs. The first dance would be to “Perfect,” then “Shape Of You” would start the party. Want the fellas to get rowdy? Hit ‘em with that “Galway Girl.” It’s good for music that Ed Sheeran won his court case. And he really is, as my friend Margot pointed out, the actualized dream of a million European buskers. I’ve never heard “Eyes Closed” before.
10:52: Katy Perry “I Kissed A Girl”
As “I Kissed A Girl” played, a customer entered. She was wearing a Taylor Swift shirt and jean shorts and there was a tiny dog peeking out of her New Yorker tote bag. It seems like YOLO pop is coming back into the conversation, but the journey towards allowing indie music to be dumb again will be long and torturous. Lost in thought about the subtle vocoder effect that comes in during the second chorus of this song, it slowly started to sink in: All I was doing with this stupid blog post was listening to the radio in a public place while drinking an iced coffee. WNEW-FM, the “New” 102.7. Since 2018, it has been the only “Hot Adult Contemporary” outlet in New York City. The station kicked to commercial: an ad for Dunkin’ Donuts.
I first heard “Happy” on the day of its release at a noise house in Far Rockaway, Queens. For some reason, Pharrell decided to create an interactive video stream with the song looping on a website for 24-hours; my friend Brian had the video up on his laptop and a nitrous canister out on the floor and we rocked with that shit for hours. “Happy” wasn’t “Happy” yet, it was just another Pharrell song. I remember it sounding fine at that moment. We were also doing whip-its, so that might’ve factored into my assessment.
11:06: Taylor Swift “Anti-Hero”
The Dunkin’ was filling up. Between the latte steam and the customers, the music was becoming muffled. I have serious hearing damage. When it comes to recent songs by mid-career superstars, try this exercise: pretend you are listening to the debut single from a new artist. If you attempt to process “Anti-Hero” with no context, it kind of works. It’s probably not a good song, but the chorus is sticky and vexing enough that it could kickstart the right person’s career.
11:09: Puff Daddy and Faith Evans (Feat. 112) “I’ll Be Missing You”
Was not expecting to hear a rap track today. I guess that’s what the “Hot” in “Hot Adult Contemporary” means. I like that new Lil Durk cut with the children’s choir; I think it has a shot at going the distance, which in this case means making it all the way to the kind of radio station that gets played at a Dunkin’ Donuts or the dentist’s office.
11:13: Elton John & Dua Lipa “Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)”
“Cold Heart (PNAU Remix)” was obscured by the sound of a blender and radio static. The song’s take on “Rocket Man” is a possible new low for contemporary pop music. I’ve heard people unironically refer to cover songs as “IP plays,” which makes my skin crawl. With that said, this track is an IP play. Here is how you interpolate “Rocket Man.”
11:16: Ellie Goulding “Love Me Like You Do”
I’d never heard “Love Me Like You Do” before, but I guess it’s from the Fifty Shades Of Grey soundtrack. I’ve never seen that movie, either, but I have seen the movie Book Club, which is about four older women reading Fifty Shades Of Grey. I saw it in the theater during the heady Movie Pass era… Movie Pass was such a good deal that I didn’t even mind that they stole $60 from me.
11:21: Metro Boomin (with The Weeknd & 21 Savage) “Creepin’”
They edited out 21 Savage’s verse. Rap and WNEW… Where is the line? Someone get the station manager on the phone for me. Tell them John from John’s Music Blog has a few questions. I miss stopping at a Dunkin’ on the way home from playing an underwhelming show in Boston.
I just finished an interview with my old friend Kid Cut Up, who is about to embark on his second world tour doing DJ sets opening for P!nk. Last round, he did 150 shows. He even did 20 supporting Cher at stadiums around Europe. Other blogs can interview techno DJs about Berghain… I’m more interested in what it’s like to play at a corporate-branded basketball arena in the middle of Oklahoma. As I was listening to this song, a child and his father rolled in and quickly left, the dad on some sort of motorized unicycle and the child, with a helmet and mask, on what looked to be a self-balancing, dual-wheeled device.
11:33: Kim Petras and Sam Smith “Unholy”
The Dunkin’ fully cleared out. After a long-ass commercial break, which included an interesting Sketchers spot narrated by Martha Stewart, we returned to music. It does not feel good to know that the final manifestation of the Sophie sample pack is a song that seems like it was designed to soundtrack White Lotus fancam videos.
11:35: Harry Styles “Watermelon Sugar”
I have nothing to say about Harry Styles, but as long as we are talking pop rock, I should hit you all with a scene report: I saw Wisconsin hero Graham Hunt play at Mercury Lounge last week, and he ended his set with an unreleased song so catchy that it got stuck in my head for a few days. There’s nothing like hearing a song you’ve never heard before played live and knowing instantly that it’s a hit. It’s an even better feeling than sitting alone at a Dunkin’ Donuts on a holiday and listening to adult-contemporary radio.