STREAMING MADNESS: SPOTIFY’S “ROCK THIS” PLAYLIST

THOUGH I WISH I COULD, I CAN’T STOP ROCKING

Around this time six years ago, I played my first and only show inside of a minor league baseball stadium. The city: Tucson, Arizona. The headliner: Breaking Benjamin. My set time: Somewhere around one in the afternoon.

There is no easy way to explain how, at that point in my "career," I was performing at both DIY venues and red state radio festivals. Just a few weeks before the stadium gig, I was struggling through a set at a Legion Hall in Portland. The damaged garage unit Eat Skull would play later in the night. They watched me rock with a skeptical eye. After the show, I complimented a member of the band. It was returned with the limpest handshake I had ever received. 

That day in Tucson, the stage was flanked by military recruitment tents and Monster energy drink banners. Having just brushed up against a mass shooting while playing in Las Vegas, the back of my mind was filled with images of gun splatter from unencumbered sightlines. But the show didn’t go so badly. Maybe not so well, either. No matter where I played—a noise show or rap show or a stadium filled with radio rock fans—my music mostly divided crowds. It maybe just confused people. To end the set, I jumped off the stage and slid into second base.

The Spotify "Rock This" playlist is a reminder that there’s a world of vaguely relevant guitar music that exists beyond the narrow band of rental halls and aging record collectors and Zoomers with funny-looking pants. It’s a big world, and one that on occasion inches towards the aesthetics of more "credible" music communities. Unlike those scenes, though, this playlist contains songs that, for a variety of reasons, can exist in a broader context: a finished suburban basement, the television program Bar Rescue... Maybe even a minor league baseball stadium in Arizona.

Foo Fighters “Under You”

Listening to “Under You,” I can picture heated arguments inside of Facebook groups, ones with names like “CLASSIC ROCK UNIVERSE” and “In Grunge We Trust,” discussing the merits of Josh Freese as the replacement for the deceased Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins. Freese’s “pocket” sounds pretty good here, and this peppy jangler is one of the better Foo Fighters tunes I have heard in a minute. I will admit that my sample size is quite low.

Nothing But Thieves “Overcome”

I had never heard of this band before. They are British. "Overcome" sounds like music that I might be forced to endure while entering or deplaning a Delta aircraft. Does it rock? I can’t say that it rocks. If you squint, the mid-song instrumental passage hits, in a heartland freedom rock kind of way.

Fall Out Boy “Hold Me Like A Grudge”

It’s "Another One Bites The Dust" if it were covered by Maroon 5. Fall Out Boy is a confusing band. We should all be lucky enough to shake the shackles of counterculture and make a tune that sounds like Alien Ant Farm’s cover of "Smooth Criminal" as interpreted by Imagine Dragons. I finally listened to their take on "We Didn’t Start The Fire," which, I don’t know... There's not much I can say about that one.

Neck Deep “Take Me With You”

Neck Deep’s Blink-182 worship is impressive. They made an extraterrestrial-themed video for this song, which mirrors Blink member Tom DeLonge’s own interest in aliens. Look, I have no idea what percentage of this blog fucks with Blink-182. Does everyone here know about Tom DeLonge’s obsession with UFOs? Does everyone here even know who Tom DeLonge is? I have no clue.

Thirty Seconds To Mars “Stuck”

I can’t get through listening to a block of mainstream rock music without referencing Imagine Dragons multiple times. Not unlike that band, it’s hard for me to describe the music of Jared Leto’s Third Seconds To Mars. It’s an ever-shifting target. I wouldn’t say that it rocks. "Stuck" has a disco drop that might be subliminally referencing A-Trak’s remix of "Heads Will Roll" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs. More likely, it’s referencing the Italian rock band Måneskin. I'll get to them later. 

Paramore “Running Out Of Time”

The Paramore song "This Is Why" was one of the best singles of 2022. Sometimes, I’ll stumble upon an indie rock musician throwing a tantrum on Twitter; when that happens, the room will go white, and my entire existence will flash in front of my eyes: all of the petty scenester conversations I’ve had, over and over, for 20 years; all of my failure and confusion; all of the unresolved feelings that come from moving through life as a recycled teenager. It makes me appreciate Paramore for their reach and general mastery.

Bring Me The Horizon “LoST”

The opening of "LoST" is damn near rainbow rock. The rest of the song sounds like a mix between Andrew WK, hyperpop, and the kind of Microkorg-fried pop punk that ruled the Myspace era, which is interesting because Bring Me The Horizon were around back then—they just weren’t making pop. One commonality running through many of the bands on this playlist is an ability to shift through genres and move out of, for better or worse, the sound that made them famous. They are all survivors of the game. They do what must be done to avoid the fate of the legacy act. In the case of Bring Me The Horizon, it seems like they are doing whatever they feel like. Probably the best song on the list?

Asking Alexandria “Psycho”

Another British metalcore band that has ridden the confusing waves of mainstream rock music culture is Asking Alexandria. A casual cruise through their discography reveals everything from chaotic metal to the kind of big-tent, studio-doctored rock that gets played in Major League Baseball promotional packages. "Psycho" contains yet another latent Maroon 5 influence—or is that influence actually the metalcore-meets-R&B band Issues?—and a pretty good chorus. "I’m going crazy/Because I’m a fucking psycho."

Måneskin “Baby Said”

This band again. Everything sounds like Maroon 5 to me now. I’m losing me marbles. The musical equivalent of watching the Powers of Ten is listening to WFMU for an hour and then throwing on a Måneskin song. They are a rock band, as dreamed up by a middle-aged Italian fashion designer who has never liked rock music.