The Row is a clothing company created in 2006 by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I don’t know anything about fashion, but it seems as if the brand has cultivated a minimal, high-end sensibility, one that transcends the sisters’ history in show business. The Row sells $550 cotton t-shirts and $990 wool and cotton hats. Their canvas high-top sneakers go for $820. Unlike a lot of celebrity fashion endeavors, Mary-Kate and Ashley’s likeness is barely connected to The Row’s public-facing identity.
What is the musical equivalent of this “quiet luxury” brand? The question would make for an interesting parlor game, no doubt, but it’s not one that any of us are required to play, because The Row’s monthly Spotify playlist exists. Though each edition is varied, there is a “tasteful” thread that unites them all, as if a record head was tasked with making an accessible mix of music for a luxury retail environment. I would like to imagine that Mary-Kate and Ashely themselves are handling PJ duties, and certain blog posts I’ve read seem to allude to that being the case, but I can’t find absolute confirmation. It would be great to lock down an interview with the two about their love of The Durutti Column and Cymande.
The Row’s October playlist just dropped. For whatever reason, it seems to focus entirely on vintage funk and soul music. It’s good, but the September edition is more emblematic of the mishmash that has come to define these things. I spent a part of my day, time that I’ll never get back again, listening to and writing about what is essentially a chill-out playlist.
Saint Etienne “Sun in My Morning”
Saint Etienne is a great band whose name I fuck up when I attempt to pronounce it out loud. Though I am a fan of a few of their ‘90s records, I had never heard this 2006 track. I associate Saint Etienne with a larger crop of ‘90s collage artists whose record collections were as important as their recorded output. With the passing of time, though, pastiche has a way of calcifying into a singular aesthetic. I assume that to a lot of young people, Stereolab just sounds like a great ‘90s band. “Sun in My Morning” is bossa nova-ish with Beach Boys harmonies.
Many years ago, I listened to a WTF interview with Todd Rundgren. A decent portion consisted of Rundgren talking shit about XTC singer Andy Partridge: He produced Skylarking, the record that “Grass” is taken from, and he had to really convince Partridge to put “Dear God” on it. Both guys seem fairly insufferable, which is their god-given right as singer-songwriters.
Oh shit: Bent. We are really in the weeds now. If it’s not Mary-Kate and Ashley, I’m going to have to assume that whoever put this playlist together is British. I associate Bent’s kind of electronica with television adverts. “Stay Out All Night” is spangly and chilled, yet a little bit driving. Being a music blogger is crazy: you get to, with a straight face, refer to a song as “spangly.” Anyway… It’s winsome dance music about the process of going out and listening to dance music; it would probably sound good on an airplane.
There’s nothing like a little “source material” on your curated playlist: “Jezahel” was sampled by Public Enemy on their 2007 cut “Harder Than You Think,” which is maybe the best Public Enemy song of the past 20 years. Judging from The Row’s clothing, you might assume that their playlists consist of nothing but tepid ambient and house music. Deeper down the playlist, way deeper than I am willing to go for the purpose of a blog post, they include “Analogue Bubblebath” by Aphex Twin.
The Cleaners From Venus “Corridor of Dreams”
I feel like I’m at a boutique hotel somewhere in Hackney, drinking a burnt Americano. Look, I can’t front; so far, every song here has been good. It’s middlebrow British excellence. As I listened, I surfed The Row’s website. A pant and jacket combination caught my eye: the “Dixon” jacket and the “Davide” pant, both in black, both in silk and nylon. I could imagine it being my daily uniform. It’s only a little over $5,500 for the set.
More turn-of-the-century British breakbeat action. Bent and Mint Royale on one playlist? I am going to further assume that, again, if it’s not the sisters, whoever put this together is both British and also over the age of 40. Are Mary-Kate and Ashley out here listening to Mint Royale? I need to know. “Miles and Miles” is sweeping in the Massive Attack way. I would’ve done an edition of Public Listening at The Row, but I assume they would’ve kicked me out after less than ten minutes of loitering.
Sunday “Where Did He Come From”
The swerve we deserve, in the form of a Chicago sweet soul burner. Obviously, this song sounds great. It will always sound great. The thing about taste, though, is that it’s easier in the rearview. It’s not hard to explain why ‘60s soul music or Philip Guston are good and important. It’s a little harder to take a look at the world as it is right now and, with clear eyes and a full heart, try to extract meaning from alien forms. What I’m trying to say is that The Row are cowards for not putting Xaviersobased on their playlists.
The Olsen Twins provide child stars with one possible pathway into actual adulthood: make a bunch of money, dip out of the spotlight, and run a respected luxury brand. Brazilian Girls are a band whose name I’ve heard for a good two decades. But this is the first time that I’m listening to them. First listen. Maybe I should do one of those YouTube reaction videos. John’s Music Vlog? Dear god, help us all.
Ned Doheny “Get It Up For Love”
Now we are getting into the Professional Music Listener mire—the prestige TV music bog. Here is some moody, yachty 1970s Malibu business from a Jackson Browne labelmate; it's got a bit of a Bill Withers lean, and it’s hitting pretty good with my cup of instant coffee. I checked to see if the tune had been sampled, and indeed it had: Big K.R.I.T. flipped it into some pretty satisfying UGKcore back in 2013.
Yoshinori Sunahara “Love Beat”
Chilled Japanese trip hop that’s sunny enough for some Len vocals. It makes me wish I was walking around Koenji, dripped out in the “Dixon” jacket in black and the “Davide” pant, also in black, drinking a Pocari Sweat. It’s been almost a decade since I’ve been to Japan. Somehow, I had a run of four tours in five years back in the early 2010s. I’ll never forget the first time I was handed a hot can of coffee. The sheer delight! Those are the moments you live for.
Universal Togetherness Band “My Sentiment”
“My Sentiment” is a mellow, buttoned-up disco cut with Stevie Wonder harmonica; it was reissued by Numero Group, a label whose name should be very familiar to any music supervisor, wine bar DJ, or Zoomer indie rocker. It’s a good label, but it has become synonymous with a certain kind of adult hipster taste profile, one that rarely colors outside of the lines. It must be exhausting to only like the “right” stuff all the time. I’m curious to see how the label deals with the 2000s. If anyone from Numero is reading this, hit me up: It’s almost time for that rainbow rock retrospective compilation.
Lemon Jelly “Stay With You (Radio Version)”
When the Lemon Jelly comes out, that’s when I know I’m in too deep. It’s time for me to put on some happy hardcore or pop punk or BabyTron. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a loyal customer of The Row, musically speaking. That “Dixon” jacket (in black) and that “Davide” pant (in black), though? Those are a must cop.
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